What is Zebra Penis?
1.
Any penis that has been worn or beaten to the point of stripedness. Commonly appears as indentations and red stripes from the hand of the offender.
Common causes of the progression of the condition: Marriage, Lack of girlfriend, Lack of a suitable nymphomaniac to pleasure yourself with, or simply the undeniable urge to constantly spank oneself.
Most effective method of curing the condition: turn off one's video game console and do whatever necessary to score some action, including prostitution or hogging (pleasuring the obesely overweight) if necessary; put down the glow-in-the-dark Star Wars light saber, and use these skills to stab some stinky.
1. Even though my wife was home, I was so lonely over the weekend that I pleasured myself repeatedly until I developed zebra penis.
2. Billy hasn't been laid in about 3 months, he's probably given himself a zebra penis.
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