Zombic

What is Zombic?


1.

It is a religion in which we believe in:

we have a zombie jesus named Marvin.

Our leader is Marvin, not god, leader.

you may know him as the zombie jesus. Marvins

date of birth is not known because honestly

no one knows a person is a jesus when they are

born. Marvin was a male who was a sexy mother

fucker, he lived his life to the fullest, when

in his 20's (during the 80's) he drank alcohol,

went to lots of shows,fucked as many women as

possible and did what ever the fuck he wanted.

which is why we do not tell you not to do

many things, there are only a few no nos.Marvin

died, and was reincarnated the following year on

the date of his death he killed many people

but was brutally murder with a shot gun.

There will be zombie apocalypse which we call

zomb-aclypse.when is unknown but what will

happen is all dead believers in zombic will

arise and eat till they explode,literally.

and all living believers in zombic will not

be harmedand when the die, many years later

there will be another zomb-aclypse which they

wil participate in.

When meeting another zombic feel more then welcome

to use our secret password. (om nom nom nom)

when engaging in conversation. not only is

it a funny word.but it also ressembles the

sound of zombies eating stupid people brains.

Please remeber that zombies only eat

stupid people brains only because all the

smart people learn to stay away from the zombies

and are most likely zombic, but all the idotic

people, yeah, the zombies have no mercy for

them.

when we die we will come back as zombies

duing the zomb-alypse.

believe in love making to the extreme.

us zombics, fuck as much as we can,

not only is it good exercise but it is just

a delightful activity, now we are not saying

whore yourself out but if you find yourself

a partner in which you are comfortable with

fuck when ever you want, where ever you want

please know your state laws on the subject.

Getting shitfaced in order to cause mayhem is

more then exceptable, we encourage it but

our religion is not a pushy one so if you

choose not to drink you don't have too and

will not be riducled.

Drugs, are a no no, they kill the brain cells

zombies eat.

Zombie take over will occur during the catholic

religions holiday passover what year is un-

known.

Zombies, do not carry virus's they simply kill

people for food the only way to become a zombie

is to firmly believe in our religion.and then

die.

under no circumstances, may you own a rifle or

any type of gun. If not needed for occupation.

Vampires absolutely do not exsist, they are

fake,however zombies, are indeed real. they

just enjoy lots of sleep. which may be why you

do not see them anymore. because they sleep

all at once for decades at a time.

If you do become a zombie during the Zomb-aclypse

please note, christians are our number one target

here, so that we can laugh when they realize

"oh shit, we were the wrong pushy retarted dumb

asses"

Please do not impersonate zombies in a bad

manner, this isn't polite at all, zombies have

never done anything to you and all though

they are they walking dead they do have feelings

too.

Morgan Freeman is the most powerfulman on this

earth whether or not he is Zombic, he has earned

the right to live happily, so if some expresses

a bad oppinion of him they will be beaten brutaly

by every able bodied zombic in the area.

if a zombic thinks other wise, they burn, yes

that is right, they spontaniously combust and

burn, this is a deadly sin and a personal

attack agianst Marvin who is indeed a HUGE fan

of morgan freeman.

Violence is almost always the answer,if you do

not like someone feel more then privleded to

punch them in the face, but shhhhh don't tell

the law what really happened, lie and say it

was self defense. and on that note if you are

suffering from any kind of abuse we suggest

hit them hard enough once, so they get the

hint and realize they will get they're ass

beat down if the mess wih you.

As for prophainity use it as much as you can

it makes words fun!

we do believe to each his own, so please do

not be racist, sexist, pregidous, but we also

do believe in fun, so you may JOKE as much as

you want, its just a joke, but if it isn't, that

just makes you a dick, and not the good kind

attach to males that you engage in sexual

behavior with, no the kind that everyone hates.

but not the kind the feminist hate.because thats

the kind you engage in sexual behaviors with.

only cool kids are zombic ;]

im catholic, YEAH WELL IM ZOMBIC, and im gunna et your grand childrens stupid brains!!!

See zombic, zombie, religion, stupid, brains


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