Chav Edit Meaning

1.

Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late

2.

Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.

Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.

Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspringwhich their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Dieselfixation. Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name.

Come back with my bumper, you fucking Chav thief.

See chavspotting

3.

Chav - Sub species of human

Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens.

Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘Shit’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating.

Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of.

Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory.

Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!-

I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a shit hole.

also see: Burdon on society.

4.

Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.

The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others.

The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black.

Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Trash in The States which is actually a sub-culture of black America. They both inspire each other. The lower the common denominator they appeal to, the cooler they are! Both of these cultural factions are represented by the highly evolved people picked to appear on the “Jerry Springer” show. Due to the speed of the transmission of information in modern times ex. Internet, TV etc, cultures very quickly pick up bits from other cultures, bounce off each other, and this happens at such a rate that no-one exactly knows who originated what. But as society has evolved, and that is the key word, “evolved”, chavism did not happen overnight but evolved as culture dumbed-down and it became clear that it was not “cool” to aspire to anything other than basic animal appetites (for junk food, sex, cheap bling etc). Perhaps devolved is a better word!

Jordan is the ultimate aspiration of female Chavs. She is actually much more stupid than the average Chavette which is why they (chavettes) admire her so much. She is actually now trying to pull herself out of the Chav-pit she has made for herself by writing a book about herself, no doubt mostly really ghost-written by someone else, paid for from the proceeds of all the modelling jobs she has done which evolve around her flubber-inflated chest (but isn’t she a great business woman- fuckin what?), and is trying to appear in “serious” programmes such as Book Award Ceremonies. Unfortunately, she is still seriously boring as she has neglected her mind in favour of her chest , hoping that the more silicone she has pumped into those tits, the more self-esteem and intelligenceshe will attain and therefore rather than work hard and learn, just go see the surgeon again. Easy!! Her tits have now become self-funding entities (get it?) in their own right.

So my good friends, that is my input.

Chavette 1 - I nikked dis 'ello mag from da doc's....it's got Jordan and Peter pics innnit!

Chavette 2 - wikked innit....didja get ya tablets sorted for dat smell cumming from ya minge?

5.

Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!

Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.

They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.

Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.

Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!

Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!

6.

Emerging British subculture which is quickly becoming an epidemic. Chavs can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any junk food outlet, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property, drinking cheap cider, shouting abuse at passers by and terrorising old people.

Appearance: Chavs have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male chav will wear a Nickelson or Schott hooded top, baggy tracksuit trousers, white designer trainers, and a baseball cap by burberry or Nike. The female chav (chavette) will have peroxide blonde hair scrunched so tight into a pony tail with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue tracksuit with white stripes, an enormous puffa jacket, hoop earrings, and white trainers. Female chavs are forbidden from wearing socks, and all chavs must wear as much fake gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-chavs.

Cars: Typically the Vauxhall Nova, but could include Ford Escort/Orion, Vauxhall Astra, and for chavs with "bling", even a totally shagged 3 series BMW. Whatever the type of car, it must have a spoiler shaped plank of MDF nailed to the back, 20" alloy wheels which rub on the wheel arches over every bump, a badly fitted bodykit (extra points for being able to see EXACTLY where the car ends and bodykit starts), a lairy paint job with runs in it, exhaust pipes the size of the space shuttle's booster nozzles, and blue LED's on the washer jets. Neon undercar lighting is also desirable.

Attitude: The chav's attitude depends heavily on the number of mates backing him up. If he's on his own, he'll skulk along anonymously. In numbers, he'll challenge anyone to anything.

Jordan, So Solid Crew etc

See Postman

7.

chav (noun)- 1 Anyone wearing any kind of burberry clothing 2 A youth usually, although not neccessarily in his or her teens who has an undying belief that they are the hardest and coolest individual to have ever walked this planet. The male chav is distinguishable by his birght colours and imitaion gold jewellry which he uses to attract chavettes (see next). Any eye contact will be met with a tirade of abuse assuming the chav is with his herd. 3 Chavette A female chav who is distinguishable by the use of earings resting on her shoulders, very innapropriate clothing, and a pram. Chavettes are very rarely seen on their own and prefer to hang around with the dominant chav in their herd, usually the father of their child. 4 Chavish the dialect of the chav. Believing that he is a bad boy gangsta rapper, the chav or chavette will converse with others in a secrect language. Scientists have been working for years on trying to decipher chavish but to no avail. Other than swear words that you will manage to pick out, you will not understand any of this tirade; simply assume its not pleasant and probably involves your parents and a dog. (see example)

ere dean wats that nigga lookin at-ee is ganna get a beatin-dere be blood on da floor man. oi faggot you startin or wha? yo mumma got banged up by ma dog hoe.

See Mike

1.

A person who cares only for themselves and has the most horrible fashion taste ever. They like Giant hoop earings and have over sized bags to make them look skinnier. They care too much for their sun glasses, make-up, hair(even though it all looks awful) and other non-important things. They don't care for their grades because they have to be cool and of course, reading is not cool, unless it's some crappy preppy magazine. This causes them to do terrible in all their exams and never leave the town they live in, end up with some fat husband, 54 kids and the worst fake tan ever.

*Chav(female)1* Laura, have you seen my sunglasses??

*Chav(female)2* are they in your bag??

*Chav(female)1* Um I dunno, hehehe,

See chav, chavs, sunglasses, bag, make-up, hair, scum, awful, burberry