Plomb

What is Plomb?


1.

1. (n.) Polite term for human excrement in a toilet that has failed to flush for one of a variety of reasons...(see i-iv below);

2. Used to endearingly identify one's offspring;

3. Popular word to convey moment of impact and subsequent existence of (ideally) well-shaped (circular in cross-section) and solid 'plomb' in a toilet;

4. Conveys the two most popular instances that 'flash' into the non-Creator's mind upon detecting a plomb, (i) A BOMB!!... (ii) the precise moment it 'plo'pped (in the water from within Creator);

4. 'Lead' (metal) in French;

5. (Orig.) fusion of 'plop' and 'bomb'; coined in early seventies.

Reasons for non-flush and therefore plomb:

i. the Creator is still admiring its profile;

ii. the Creator forgot to flush it, simply;

iii. the Creator is still admiring its aquadynamics;

iv. Creator failed to account for extended reading or repose and hitherto subsequent resilience of plomb;

iv. the Creator has planted a deliberate 'plomb' for a non-Creator to stop in tracks and admire.

Examples in context:

1. I say, that was a mighty impressive plomb you left, Sir.

4. Fuel attendant - 'Quelle petrol, Monsieur?

Customer - Plomb!

See shit, poo, crap, mr hanky, plomb, number 2

2.

The following is an updated short description of the word 'plomb'; use in context, conception and distinction follow...

1. Polite term for a physical turd/poo/ crap/shit in a toilet that hasn't flushed for one of many possible reasons...(see i-vii below)

2. Used to endearingly identify one's offspring.

3. A humorous and unique word coined in the early seventies to convey the moment of impact and subsequent existence of (ideally) a well-shaped (circular in cross-section) and solid turd/poo/ crap/shit in a toilet;

By fusing "plop" and "bomb" this word describes the two most likely instances that flash into the non-Creator's mind upon detecting a plomb,(i) it's representative and symbolic status as a 'b-omb' by a Creator not one's self and (ii) the precise moment it 'plo-pped' (in the water) from within its Creator.

4. Lead (metal) in French and with close resemblance in many other tongues.

Possible reasons for non-flush and therefore plomb:

i. 'the Creator is still admiring its profile'

ii. 'the Creator simply forgot to flush it'

iii. 'the Creator is still admiring its subaquadynamics.'

iv. 'the Creator failed to account for any excessive reading or dozing time (esp. after bowl-rise-blackout) and subsequent semi-permanence of plomb.

v. 'the Creator is about to perform an autoptical check for consistency'

vi. 'the Creator is peforming a control test to discover his/her intestinal impact on unchewed peas, bananas etc.'

vii. 'the Creator has planted a deliberate 'plomb' for another to stop in his/her tracks and admire.

Examples in context:

1. I say, who left a big plomb in the toilet? 'Where you off to? I'm off to make a plomb' 'Where's so-and-so? I think he/she's in the toilet, making a plomb.'

2. 'How's the plombs? - Oh the kids?, They're fi-i-ne, how's yours? etc' 'You little plomb!' (eg. to young family)

3. 'Why do you call it a Plomb? - NeverM-I-N-D!'

4. Fuel attendant - 'Quelle petrol, Monsieur?

Customer - Plomb!

Fuel attendant - Parfait choix, Monsieur. Toute-suite plomb! Plomb, plomb... c'est si plomb! ..Heh! qu'est ce-que tu viens dit? Ugh! J'adore Patti Smith parce-que je suis 'jeune Parisien'. Je m'en fut! Mange-tu mon plomb! Rat-at-at-at-atat-at!!'

With complements/ creditto Harry C the Greek :)

See shit, poo, turd, cack, crap, number 2


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